‘Into The Storm’ Review

by Jorge Carreon.

Hear that furious tapping sound emanating from across the land? It’s every critic, reviewer and blogger hitting their computer keys that hard as they desperately try to come up with a snappy snippet of snark about “Into the Storm.” To be frank, I didn’t think it was all that bad. I got what the sizzling trailer promised: Twisters shredding the hell out of the heartland. But, the more I think about it, the angrier I become at my being entertained. So much so, I’ll still probably buy the digital download.

Granted, pissing on special effects-laden grand operas like “Into the Storm” is just too easy. I had every intention to be in the audience. As a devoted disciple of Jan De Bont’s wonderfully absurd “Twister,” I’ve been waiting patiently for the “so bad it’s good” – slash – “weather as a villain” epic. However, “Into the Storm” is no “Twister.” Worse, it represents just how cynical Hollywood as become as it rapes even its own misfires for inspiration.

It seems the tornadoes were clearly meant to be the stars of “Into the Storm,” an asset also exploited by “Twister.” But at least it tried to have it both ways. Sure, the human drama represented by stars Bill Paxton, Oscar winner Helen Hunt & Jami Gertz (and don’t forget the late great Philip Seymour Hoffman) was hardly Shakespeare. And yes, the film’s tormented love triangle subplot was just a place holder for the next, bigger twister. But darn it, it says something when you write how you missed “Twister’s” element of emotional corn. (La Hunt’s middle of the road meltdown alone is a scene for the ages.) It’s okay to set out and deliver a popcorn movie, but you don’t have to completely eradicate the human component in the most witless script imaginable, either. (Remember this name, John Swetnam, who also wrote “Step Up: All In,” which opened the same day as “Into the Storm.” For shame, John. For shame.)

Sure the film’s ensemble, which includes actors Richard Armitage (“The Hobbit,” “The Vicar of Dibley”), Sarah Wayne Callies (“The Walking Dead,” “Prison Break”), Matt Walsh (“Veep”) and even the all grow’d up Nathan Kress (“iCarly”), possess a TV pedigree. But they aren’t small personalities, either. Yet, even they look like they know they were paid to be buffeted about this film without any concern for emotional arcs or character development. Seriously, Swetnam, did you text this screenplay in between stop lights on the way to your next pitch meeting?

You can practically read the index cards mapping out this story: Group A (Storm Chasers trying to get the Perfect Shot for their tornado doc.) Group B (The single dad, two sons, the unrequited crush, all representing the “heart” of the film.) Group C (The rednecks vying for YouTube glory.) Group D (A non-discriminating audience that the filmmakers think will swallow anything.)

All of these groups circle around the hamlet of Silverton, OK, a town so small, it feels like, oh the backlot of Warner Bros. Ranch. I’m not sure what’s worse, the utterly banal dialogue (“I’ve never seen anything like this!” or the bald faced manner how these groups all end up facing the biggest F5 twister ever recorded!

Director Steven Quale must have spent HOURS of valuable time coaching his tornadoes to appear on screen as the scariest, most dangerous vortices captured on screen. As much as I hate to say so, the storm scenes really are the reason to see “Into the Storm.” It makes good on the hype and the sight of twisters taking out an airport, sucking up a column of flames and a climactic tornado to end all tornadoes did make my heart beat faster. (It could have been the sodium content of the popcorn I ate very fast. Thanks AMC.)

It’s also saying something how the storm sequences are so intense, you forget the human cost involved with the full throttle display of such a natural force. As a result, the experience of watching “Into the Storm” is on par with rubber necking at a freeway pile up. You’ll be titillated by the carnage, but you’ll feel bad for thinking you’re glad it wasn’t you in the wreck.

“Into the Storm” is now playing nationwide.