‘Transformers Age of Extinction’ Review First of all I need to make my experience with Michael Bay’s films clear. I don’t like any previous entry in the Transformers franchise. They go from the forgettable to the annoying. At the same time, I love action classics like “The Rock” and “Bad Boys II.” Every time I watch one of the director’s new movies I hope they would be as good as those. Or at least, enjoyable. With “Pain and Gain” he reminded us that he has the ability to tell a functioning story without a massive budget. The main issues in that dark comedy are the same as in his blockbusters: Unlikable characters and unnecessary long cuts. I can tolerate a silly, and even non-nonsensical script if I can connect with at least one character and things wrap-up at the 90-minute mark. “Transformers: Age of Extinction” isn’t the worst in the saga just because it gets rid off its worst character in the first third and we don’t have to follow that many dumb “bots” and military guys. But boy this is long. Remember that there was a version of “Iron Man 3” made just for China? Well, this feels like the American cut, plus a bunch of pointless scenes in the Asian country with some of its nationals. And Chinese products, of course. It wasn’t enough to get money and theater screens by shooting there. There are all kinds of things advertised for that market, and it fits. This is the mother of all product-placements (sorry “Man of Steel”). Imagine that moment in “World War Z” where Brad Pitt stops to enjoy a Pepsi, multiplied by twenty. I haven’t summarized the story yet because I feel that they don’t care about it and probably you don’t either. It more or less goes like this: Athletic, good-hearted, inventor that lives in a huge paradisiac farm but struggles with money (you know, a regular guy) finds a Transformer. Then him, his model-looking daughter, her model-looking boyfriend plus a surfer dude need to help the fugitive Autobots defeat Galvatron (possesed by Megatron) and a bunch of “bountyhunterbots” (or whatever their official name is). In the mix there are many more walking cliches: The greedy tech genius, the far-right government official, the blood-thirsty henchman, the ass-kicking and sexy Asian chick and the blonde that …I honestly don’t know what she was. Everybody verbally states their one-note personalities the first time they appear. They all scream, run, try to do comic relief, and at some point or another are either being rescued or rescuing someone else. All the explosions and special effects (digital or practical) have little or no impact when things don’t feel real and you don’t care about anyone. Mark Wahlberg is an OK leading man. But despite his natural charm I had some “The Happening” flashbacks. It isn’t just the stupidity of his character’s decisions but how aggressive he is with random people for no reason. Stanly Tucci sells like four different products and spits terrible lines of dialogue, but at least he doesn’t take this seriously. I believe that fast -and junk- food movies have their place in popular culture. Millions seem to enjoy the Transformer movie-going experience so they are getting more of the same. But even from a strictly commercial point of view, popular products should evolve over time. Make hamburgers less greasy, soda drinks less sugary. People will still consume them but at least they would be either more nutritious or less empty. As a geek, I want to celebrate the fact that one of the most watched films this year includes a scene where a gigantic robot with a sword rides a gigantic robotic dinosaur. But even a conceptually nerdgasmic moment like that is ruined with cuts to a bad conversation between bad characters. Recent blockbusters like “Edge of Tomorrow” and “X-Men: Days of Future Past” prove that science fiction stories can be thrilling, challenging and awe-inspiring. The Transformers saga exercises muscles of the genre but doesn’t care about its mind or the heart. After seeing the same movie four times, it is time for the property and Bay to part ways. I will follow both after the split, always hoping for the best. “Transformers: Age of Extinction” is playing nationwide now. “TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION is the fourth film in director Michael Bay’s global blockbuster franchise. Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Li Bingbing , Kelsey Grammer, Sophia Myles, T. J. Miller, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor and Titus Welliver star. The film begins after an epic battle that left a great city torn, but with the world saved. As humanity picks up the pieces, a shadowy group reveals itself in an attempt to control the direction of history… while an ancient, powerful new menace sets Earth in its crosshairs. With help from a new cast of humans, Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen) and the Autobots rise to meet their most fearsome challenge yet. In an incredible adventure, they are swept up in a war of good and evil, ultimately leading to a climactic battle across the world.”